


bel amour

by caffeinatedmendes



Category: Shawn Mendes (Musician)
Genre: F/M, Self Confidence Issues, University, shawn mendes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:42:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22075663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeinatedmendes/pseuds/caffeinatedmendes
Summary: "i can't love you until you learn it for yourself," - a shawn mendes story, copyright 2019 [intentionally written in lowercase]
Relationships: Shawn Mendes and Mila Hall, Shawn Mendes x Mila Hall
Kudos: 3





	1. i

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote about a third of this story a long time ago, so it might not be my best work. but i planned out the rest of this so i wanted to see if i could finish it. hope you all like it!

"mila, we should really get going now, we have a lecture in a half hour."

"fine, just let me look for one more minute." a girl rifled through several spines in the two-story bookstore, bent over to look at the bottoms of the shelves. taking three large books in her hands, the girl stood up. now fully standing; she was quite tall and had dark hair that was cut past her shoulders.

mila followed her friend from the behind, the girl much shorter than her. they took the staircase down and paid for their books, making their lengthy walk to the college campus. "you always spend too much time in there, i always try to tell you to go after our lectures but no! i wanna get some new books!" she mocked. mila made a distasteful face at her, pushing her new books into her bag. "how are you even going to read those bricks? you schedule a trip to the bookstore every payday."

"you know i purposefully read an hour every day, sometimes more. it's actually methodically planned out so that-"

"okay, nerd, i don't wanna hear the rest of this." she laughed, pulling mila into the lecture hall. inside the expansive hall at least sixty students sat down, illuminated by the fluorescent lighting. the two of them found seats in the middle and sat for a quite dull hour and a half. "what did he say?" mila's friend asked after the lecture was over.

"you want me to repeat and hour and half's worth of a lecture, lea?" she grinned and shook her head as they made their way back into the city. "i got work in a half-hour, can you just remember to put the heating on when you get back home? i don't want to freeze my ass off." lea nodded and bounded a different direction, curls swaying in the wind. mila walked for another fifteen minutes before turning right and pushing through a heavy door with a chime.

"you're late again." 

"i know, simon, i had-"

"i worked for ten minutes over my shift. you owe me." mila scoffed as the man at the counter grabbed his things and pushed his way out the door with a scowl on his face. 

"asshole," mila muttered, putting her pin on and clocking into work. mila worked at a music store owned by some old man's son, though he was never there, only employees. she sat behind the counter, scrolling mindlessly on her phone until the bell on the door chimed. looking up, she saw a tall guy in a hoodie, maybe her age. she only saw the back of him, but he had curly hair and was muscled. "hello." she greeted the customer like always. he turned around and just looked at her for a second.

the guy looked strangely familiar. the two of them didn't say anything. he had a chiseled jawline, eyes she couldn't really tell the color of from her distance. she stood up. "is there anything you need help with today?" she couldn't deny he was attractive, but mila couldn't get over how familiar he was. where had she seen him before?

"hi.." he paused another second before clearing his throat, "where are your guitars?" mila pointed to the back of the store with a smile, "thanks," he said with a grin. he had a light voice, but on certain vowels, mila noticed it deepened. she sat back down in her chair, this time grabbing a ukulele from the back wall and fingerplucking random chord patterns. she couldn't help but look back at the guy. his hands plucked each string meticulously in a beautiful melody, and when mila had looked away, she hadn't noticed that he looked at her, too. it was a game of tennis with their eyes. return each glance without knowing your opponents next move. the guy spoke up this time, "how much is this one?" he gestured to the one in his hands.

the guitar was pale and seemed to be made from light wood, too. "seven-hundred fifty dollars." mila stated, glazing her eyes over the shiny finish. 

"could you keep it on hold it for me? i forgot my wallet." he said with a chuckle. mila stood up.

"sure. i'll put it back here and write it down so none of my coworkers take it." he got up and carefully handed it to her. mila took the neck and body in both hands, brushing his fingers. she felt callouses on the tips of them. placing it on a rack, she turned back to him, as he was still standing there. it was a bit awkward, but she placed both her hands on the counter. mila could see his eyes up close now. they were brown, but with flecks of green and amber in them. his pupils dilated, she could see. "anything else i could help with?" she broke the silence.

the guy shook his head, seeming to want to get rid of the tension, too, "nope. thank you, i'll see you tomorrow?"

"no-actually, yes, i have a shift at this same time, if you're coming then."

"alright, i think i will. thanks for the help."

"anytime."

\- - -

"i'm home, lea." mila said from the front door of their apartment. she plopped onto their couch and immediately turned on netflix. lea stepped out of her bedroom door, which was to the left of the living room. 

"how was work?"

"fine, we had only one customer, but he was familiar, for some reason. like i'd seen him somewhere before." mila paused her netflix show.

lea moved to the kitchen on mila's right and poured herself a glass of water. "what'd he look like?" lea had her hair pushed away from her face in a messy bun and was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"he had curly brown hair, but not really curly, still in a style. and he was tall, he had really strange eyes-"

"are you already in love with the man, mila?" mila scoffed, moving her view back to the tv. she ignored lea for the time being, but lea quickly added onto her thoughts, "well, he does sound familiar even to me. maybe he just looks like someone famous. you know, the other day i met a girl who looked exactly like jennifer laurence."

"i really doubt that," mila laughed, and then put her head back on the couch. "alright, we have to do our work and study for that test on friday." mila stood up from the couch and moved to their miniscule dining table that had been pushed against the window, offering a city view.

"what test on friday?"

the next morning was difficult for mila. she hadn't slept well, thinking about her upcoming exams and why that customer was so familiar. as hard as she tried she couldn't get her mind off of it. mila went through the same routine of getting ready in the morning; having too much caffeine, eating a honeycrisp apple (she would not eat any other), and cleaning her room. after she went through this mental checklist she went downstairs with lea and out their apartment building.

"mia wants us to meet for dinner after your shift," lea continued, "she's paying is what she said."

"good," mila smirked, "i will only pay if we go to a normal restaurant. she takes us to classy ones where we have to dress up and my exponentially tiny meal is thirty dollars." lea snorted loudly, nodding in agreement.

they opened the door to a different lecture hall, "well, the woman is rich. she's living on daddy's money while we're here working our asses off on scholarships and loans." mila thought about how so many people got so little and worked their entire lives only to get nothing in return. mia could sit comfortably without lifting a finger. she loved her friend, but she didn't think it was fair.

\- - -

mila brought her book to work that day. it was one of the classics she was trying to get through and understand. sometimes, she had to take notes to remember what was happening. an entire notebook page was filled and sat on the counter at work. a few people came in and every time the bell chimed, she looked up to see if it was that stranger again.

at last, the door chimed fifteen minutes before mila was off her shift. she looked again dreadfully, but suddenly a smile was brought to her face. it was him. this time he wore a t-shirt and black jacket with jeans. "hi." mila said in a rather quiet voice.

he turned and smiled at her. "hi, i actually have my wallet today." mila chuckled, getting up from her chair and setting down her book. "what are you reading?" he asked.

"lord of the flies. do you read?" she looked at him, and he stepped closer to the counter. she could see his eyes again.

"no, i'm just really bad at comprehending things. i'm also a terrible speller." he put his hands on the counter. 

mila turned around before he got too close, "that's the terrible school system for you. well, i've got the guitar here, still. do you want a hard case or a soft case?" she assumed he knew a lot about guitars, considering he played one with incredible skill.

"hard case, please." she turned back around and grabbed one from the storage containers under the counter. she placed it carefully on the tabletop and gently moved the guitar in there, watching her small fingers zip it up. "thank you." as he payed, he moved his eyes to her name tag. "mila. that's a beautiful name. what does it mean?" he looked up in her eyes and stared at her like she was a beautiful thing. 

"don't know, maybe i should look it up." she looked at him and handed him the receipt. "what's yours?" she was surprised by how fearless she sounded.

"shawn. shawn mendes." mila's eyes widened. that's who he was. lea was almost right, he was famous. no wonder he was amazing at the guitar, how had she not noticed he was the singer?

"that's why you're so familiar. shawn mendes, the youngest pop star to get nominated for a grammy, right?" he nodded, smiling. "well, it's nice to meet you, shawn mendes." she held out her hand, and he shook it gently, "i'm mila. mila hall, a nobody, unlike you."

"i really doubt that." shawn put his wallet back, and grabbed the hardcase. "it was a pleasure to meet you, mila hall." she took her spot back in the chair. he began to open the door on his way out. "see you tomorrow."

mila jumped out of her chair, but he was already gone. she muttered, with a very confused look on her face, "what the fuck?"


	2. ii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the second part to this little novella. i hope you all enjoy and have an amazing day/night! (if you prefer, you can read this on my wattpad, caffeinatedmendes, or my tumblr, caffeinated-mendes)

"the name mila means sweet one, or dear one. it's of slavic origin, which means you could be from belarus, the czech republic, you could be bulgarian, croatian, macedonian, montenegrin, polish, russian, serbian, slovakian, slovenian, or ukrainian." shawn strutted through the door of the music shop, hands in his pockets. it was the next day, and he was back as promised.

"you memorized all of that, in alphabetical order? i thought you said you couldn't read." mila grinned as he leaned against the counter, "why are you here?"

shawn grinned, "one; i memorized that because i never said i wasn't good at memorizing things. two, i'm here because i needed to tell you that." 

mila shook her head, looking up from her book, "you're here because you had to tell me that."

"yes." he looked insistent. 

"well, if you're staying here, you might as well sit back here and keep me company. grab a guitar and play anything you want, i guess." shawn shrugged and chose a dark stained guitar, with little shine on it. mila pulled out a foldable chair that leaned against the wall, and so shawn sat down with the guitar. she could now see the rest of his bottom half. he wore black boots with scuffs on the edges of the soles. when he began plucking the strings, she saw his tattoo on the back of his hand. it was a bird, a small bird that was in motion. it looked biblical to her, for some reason. 

mila took her book from the table, and shawn looked at the front cover, "i thought you were reading lord of the flies," he continued to play the guitar.

"yeah, i finished it last night. my tv show got boring. now it's frankenstein." mila looked down at the book placed on her thighs and couldn't help but look at them and not at the words on the page. every time she looked down she couldn't help but feel the taste of hatred in her mouth. she focused her attention back to the page. shawn continued the song on his guitar. she got lost in the music and set her book down, knowing she wouldn't read it anyway. "how long have you been playing guitar?"

"five years," shawn replied, taking his hands off the strings, "do you play anything?"

"yeah, violin. i haven't focused on it much since high school, though. i considered majoring in violin performance but i chose a different major. you're really good for five years, though." she looked back down at the guitar, "something isn't right though. did you tune it?"

"yes, a little bit." he looked at her with a look of confusion on his face.

"hand it here," she held her hands out and he gave her the guitar. she plucked the e string. "your e string is flat just a bit." she plucked the rest and stopped on the b string, "and your b string is also a bit flat."

shawn shook his head, "don't tell me you have perfect pitch."

"i have relative pitch. almost perfect pitch. my violin teacher would test me sometimes." she tuned them back up and quickly checked with a tuner. they were perfect. "here, keep playing mendes."

shawn didn't start, just looked at her, "grab a violin. i'll play a chord progression, and you do some improv." mila shrugged, got up and went to a back closet, grabbing a violin, tuning it, and rosining the bow. they played together and mila was happy, she was happy in the abandoned shop and for once she wasn't bored out of her mind. they stopped after a while, and shawn said in exasperation, "you're so good!"

"well, i have been playing for thirteen years," mila laughed, flaunting in an ironic tone. "look, my shift ends soon, and i have to go to a lecture. this was really fun though."

shawn sat up from his chair, "wait, give me your number. we can do this again." mila agreed and so she left twenty minutes later with his contact in her phone, meeting lea at their usual spot before a lecture.

"where have you been, mila?" they started walking back to campus through the busy city of toronto.

mila smiled, "i found out who he was. why he was so familiar."

lea tilted her head, "the customer? was he actually famous?"

mila nodded, "it was shawn mendes. i'm so stupid for not realizing. everyone is obsessed with him, but he acts like a normal person."

"dude, my little sister is like obsessed with him. don't forget about me when you're famous." lea bounced in her step as they turned another corner.

"what's that supposed to mean? we're friends, i wouldn't get famous. i'm not here to exploit him." mila gripped her backpack.

lea grinned, "oh, so you're friends?"

"shut up, lea." they sat through another lecture, though mila found this one rather entertaining considering that the professor kept getting mad at the janitorial staff, who ran huge vacuums down the hall. lea pointed out through the lecture that their professor also had a hickey poking from her collar, which made mila snort. 

she turned around from her board, "have i said something humorous, ms. hall?"

mila shook her head, "no, i'm sorry professor, i have allergies. it wasn't a laugh, but i do find our topic today quite interesting, thank you for teaching this." the professor said nothing but smirked and turned back around.

"ass-kisser," lea muttered. mila grinned ear to ear, glad she was annoying her friend. when they had gotten home, lea plopped onto the couch and mila moved to the fridge, making herself another coffee (she had already had one not even two hours before). she connected her phone to her speaker, and started playing shawn's newest album. "so you listen to him too? i thought you didn't like pop music, it was too basic for you."

"are you trying to bash me for trying to expand my horizons of my musical choice? plus, this isn't your basic pop trash. the instrumentals in the back are amazing, and they perfectly are in time with the tempo-"

"okay, okay, okay, lets just start studying."

"i thought you didn't like studying," mila replied, mocking her, bringing her coffee to their dining table. lea grinned, opening her binder on the table and getting their notes out. she hadn't let mila out of the house and they only stopped for food and drink breaks. she had also tried to get mila to eat a bit more, but she insisted she was full. when lea was finally passed out her bed, she pulled on her oversized hoodie and made her way back on the familiar streets, feeling a little on edge from walking by herself at 11 pm.

she unlocked the music store and walked to the back, turning on the lights and going in the recording studio. playing the instrumentals in the background to one her favorite songs by shawn, she began to sing. her voice was deep but with one switch of styles she could be a peppy broadway singer.

'don't cry or do

whatever makes you comfortable

i'm tired, too

there's nothing left to say

let's call a truce, cause i don't really wanna go to bed like this, yeah'

mila didn't see that a figure walked through the entryway. it had been shawn, and seeing the lights on, he thought it was still open. he knocked on the closed recording room door, and mila turned to see him in shock. mila took off her headphones. "shit, i forgot to lock the door." the hourglass figure opened the door with a smile. "hey, shawn, what are you doing here?"

"i wanted to see if you're here. i forgot to text." mila let him in the studio, and he sat in the chair. "this is a nice recording place. were you singing?"

"yeah, i only really do it by myself. it was actually one of your songs. like to be you." shawn grinned.

"well, i'm flattered. lets hear it, i want to know if you're even more talented than i already know." 

mila shrugged, "i don't know, i'm not that good."

"please? i'll get a guitar and we can sing it together if it makes you feel more comfortable." mila agreed, a little scared. shawn began singing the first verse after he sat back down, and then mila joined for the chorus. his eyes widened and a huge grin broke on his face. mila nervously put a piece of hair behind her ear, singing her verse by herself.

'can I kiss you or not?

cause I'm not really sure right now of what you want

are you still mad at me? i'm hopin not

cause maybe we could go to the movies

i know that always cheers us up, hey'

they finished the song, and shawn laughed in astonishment, "that was incredible, mila, incredible. have you taken singing lessons?" mila shook her head, "damn. you need to record an album or some shit because the world needs to hear this." shawn took her hand and it startled her a bit, but his hand felt reassuring

"thank you, i've always liked singing. i used to belt songs in the car while my dad drove me to my violin lessons." she giggled, and her hand was still connected to shawn's, her other one playing with the rip in her jeans.

"where are you from?" he asked.

she looked into his eyes, studying his face. his pupils dilated like before. "uh, i'm from the us. i used to live in california, southern california. 'moved out here for college. i visit my family every break."

shawn nodded. "hey, do you want to get dinner tomorrow? we can drive out somewhere and eat it in the trunk. nothing fancy."

mila smiled. "i'd like that. how about six?" 

shawn agreed, "do you want to sing some more?" the answer was obvious, and the two of them spent hours in the shop until morning nearly broke. mila's test scores would be paying for this, but she didn't give any fucks whatsoever. mila was happy. nothing was on her mind but shawn and the music. she felt like she was floating on a sea of clouds, and nothing else existed.


	3. iii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i've been gone for a bit, school has gotten hectic so i'm just updating with this chapter that i wrote a very long time ago. kudos and comments are always appreciated! <3

the exam that mila had to sit through was brutal. lea kept on giving her looks to ask for answers throughout it, but mila didn't say a word. even if lea studied, she couldn't remember things well. it was ten percent of their grade, so to say that mila wasn't a bit frazzelled during the test would be a complete lie. as they walked out of the lecture hall, lea screamed in frustration, sending worried looks to the people among them, "i definitely failed that test!"

"i sure you're fine, it was bad for me too. we'll check our scores when we get home," and so they did. both of them sat on one corner of the couch, "what did you get?" mila asked. lea looked for a second on her phone, and her face calmed.

"eighty percent, what about you?"

"see what i told you?" mila turned her head down, and looked, "eighty-two." she had a devilish smirk on her face. lea pelted her with pillows, and mila just giggled along, knowing she'd one-upped her for the thousandth time.

shawn

shawn had finished getting ready to see mila, overlooking himself in the mirror. had he overdressed? looking down at himself, he wore a black-button up with the top two buttons un-buttoned, and black skinny jeans, too. jeans were casual, but was the shirt too much? he ignored it and decided to go for it, grabbing his keys and texting mila.

do you want me to pick you up at your place? he asked, and she replied a minute later. sure. i'll send you my address :) 

the trip wasn't too long, about ten minutes from his condo. mila lived in one of the apartment's that her university owned and rented out to students. shawn parked his jeep in the parking garage below and then strutted to the elevator, picking floor four. he found apartment 29 and rapped three times on the door. it opened very quickly by a girl who was not mila. she had honey colored eyes that glowed like orbs and long, curly brown hair. "shawn mendes," she said with an audible sarcastic gasp, "welcome to the peterson-hall residence. i'm lea. come on in." she opened the door.

shawn smiled, "it's nice to meet you, lea." he shook her hand awkwardly. shawn thought she was quite a character, but he liked that about her. he looked around the apartment, which had a tiny living space next to the front door, and an equally small kitchen. in front of two windows was a table for two and on the right wall were two doors. mila stepped out of the left one with a short blouse and blue washed jeans on. she wore boots for the cold weather in canada and had a jacket with her. shawn couldn't help but stare at her. mila was curved and tall, with dark hair cut past her shoulders.

her eyes shawn constantly looked at, surrounded by the freckles dotting her nose and cheeks, they were dark and almost black if you didn't look at them in the sunlight. he could tell when it was daytime in the music store that they were brown.

shawn shook the thought out of his head before anyone noticed him staring and opened the knob of the door. "ready?" mila nodded, and smiled while saying goodbye to lea, who gave shawn a strangely aggressive look. 

they had gotten to his black jeep, which mila was very excited to ride in. "i love jeeps, but they take up way too much gas. can't pay for an aesthetic, i guess," she laughed as shawn hurried in front of her to open the door. mila didn't care much about chivalry but accepted the kind gesture as shawn took his seat too. "what are we getting?" she asked.

shawn turned on the engine and put the car in drive, "'dunno, what do you like?"

mila looked out the window, watching the cityscape move by them, "anything, just no seafood. i can't stand fish."

shawn grinned, "'kay, no seafood. i'll find something close. how was your day?"

"good. i got an eighty-two on my exam and went to a workshop." she smiled, putting her hands over her legs. shawn noticed how she spread them out to cover the skin. he thought it might just be an unconscious habit. he turned his attention back to the road.

"a workshop for..."

"writing. i never told you, did i? i want to be a screenwriter, and currently i'm trying to work on something to submit to any media company who will take me." mila looked ahead of them, over the traffic of toronto. "how was your day?"

"good, too," shawn thought back to the events of his day, "i wrote some of a song, just a few lyrics and then had some meetings."

"fancy meetings for famous people," mila laughed, nudging him lightly in the arm.

shawn quirked his eyebrows, shifting his gaze to her for a second, "you making fun of me?"

"no, i'm just stating how you're sounding so professional, 'meetings," 

"is there another word for meetings, mila?"

"guess not."

when they had gotten to their destination the food in the backseat had nearly been cold. shawn had immediately jumped out of the jeep and opened the trunk to reveal piles of blankets and pillows and a small stack of silverware and plates. mila followed quickly behind to see that behind the blankets was a bottle of expensive wine. mila knew her wines, if she drank, that's all she'd have. looking around, she saw they were in a clearing surrounded by woods, and the sun had already set. "shawn, you didn't have to do all this. i would've been fine with sitting at your place or mine, watching netflix."

"yes, that would be fine," he took the blankets and began to lay them across his backseat, arranging the pillows, "but i prefer to go a little over the top."

"a little?" mila grinned, "this is so sweet. seriously, no one's ever done this with me."

shawn took the plates and the take-out handing them to mila, "save the gratitude for later, let's eat." 

the meal was good, but it reminded her that nothing would taste as good as the chicken her mom would make back home way too often. she longed for it. she sat with shawn, nestled in a blanket opposite from him, their long legs barely touching. they both sipped on their wine and it was enjoyable being in each others presence, not saying anything and looking up at the stars. "what's it like?" shawn suddenly says, breaking the silence. 

"what's what like?" mila thought he would say, being ordinary, not famous.

shawn shifted in his spot, the back of the jeep still comfortable for mila, "your home. tell me about your city."

"well, i lived in a one-story house. it had a pool. my room wasn't too big or too small. my parents were the best parents i could ask for. whenever we didn't have something for our lunches in the mornings, my dad would run to the store at 6 am to get us what we needed. we watched tv shows together every night for months at a time." mila kept going, everything flowing out of her mouth in a string of words, "my friends would come on the weekend sometimes. we'd spend hours talking, and now they've gone off to college on different sides of the us. i live closer to some of my family now that i'm here, but i miss my parents. my house has this certain feeling. like when i step inside it, i know that i'm safe and that, that i can strip away everything that i protect myself with. when i'm home i can throw everything aside and just live in my own company."

shawn shook his head, expression somewhat happy, "that sounds amazing. i wish i could see it from your point of view, you know? feel what you're feeling."

mila nodded, "yeah," her eyes seemed to droop and shawn seemed to notice.

"want me to take you home?"

she shook her head, opening her eyes a little more, "do you want to stay here?" 

"sure," shawn said almost without a second's hesitation. he scooted a little closer to her, their bodies maybe five inches apart. their socked feet touched, and mila put away her glass, and so did he. mila's heart raced a bit, but she pushed her fears away and put her arm around him, putting her head on his chest as they laid back, covered in a soft blanket. shawn took her other hand and intertwined it with his. she didn't seem to mind and she closed her eyes. as her breaths got slower, shawn seemed to count them over in his head. her eyelashes lay down on her face like petals of a flower, and the freckles surrounding them were the pollen that helped make something beautiful.


End file.
